Time Traveler Reveals America’s Next Presidents

If you're curious about the future, a time traveler reveals America's next presidents.

A man named Noah with a blurry face and terrible fashion sense says he’s a time traveler. He says in the not-so-distant future, time travel will be widely available and we’re going to meet aliens. Do you believe him? Hopefully not. Any yahoo with a halfway serviceable imagination can cook up a time-travel story. Like this: In the year 2032 Jeff Bezos has replaced 96% of his body’s organic matter with robot parts and now rules as the depraved god-emperor of the western hemisphere. See? It’s easy. So long as no one asks for proof. Do I have proof of the rise of the cyborg-tyrant Bezos? Other than the self-evident truth that he’s literally famed DC Comics villain Lex Luthor? No. No, I don’t. Read more